Why Do We Like To Hurt So Much?

I’ve written this entry almost a year ago. I just thought to repost it since it’s February and it will keep up with the theme for the month. ^_^ I’ve edited it a bit though to reflect some of my new thoughts

My LSS is still “That’s What You Get” by Paramore, hence the title of this post is a line from that song.

Why do we like to hurt so much? It’s part of our being to love, and it’s part of loving to get hurt.

I’m not hurting as much as before, but I am seeing a lot of people who are hurting and/or confused. It’s difficult to give advice to hurt and confused people when you yourself are just getting over the hurt and confusion. But let this piece be a comment/reply on all the blog posts about losing someone/being stupid because of loving someone/fighting for someone you love that I’ve read.

We do stupid things because of love, so people who don’t want to do something stupid avoid love or at least avoid talking about love or their feelings so that they don’t have to let other people know that they themselves had done foolish acts. We all have a story to tell. Just these past few days, I have read a lot about those stories. I don’t know if I’ll feel comforted because I am not alone or if I’ll be sad because we’re too many.

For people who lost someone they love or have unrequited love…

Just because you love someone, it doesn’t mean you have to be with that person. Loving someone doesn’t give you the license to have that person. You can still love that person from afar. It’ll hurt, but if you truly love someone, you’ll take whatever you can get.

Often you’ll hear the phrase “you deserve someone better”. I hate that phrase  even if it might be very, very, very true. You won’t be able to see the worth of that phrase when you are in love with someone who doesn’t deserve you because the point of loving anyway is giving love unconditionally. You don’t require the person you love to be something in order for you to
love him/her. You don’t require that person to be someone who deserves you before you give your heart to him/her. I don’t use the phrase “you deserve someone better” to my friends because I know what it feels when you hear it. It’s just like “I told you so” which is a phrase that I know a lot of us, if not all, doesn’t want to hear.

But as dreadful as “you deserve someone better” is to hear, we should be open to the fact that there really is someone out there, other than the person whom we love and had hurt us, that we can love and maybe even love us back. Yes, we can’t chose someone we love, but it doesn’t mean we cannot love again.

I love Lara Fabian’s song “I Will Love Again” because it’s true. As long as our heart is beating we can love again. As the song puts it, “even if it takes a life time, I will love again.” Yes, it’s difficult, really difficult, and it may take a long time but it can happen. We just have to be open.

You don’t stop loving a person just because the person has stopped loving you or because he/she cannot love you in the way you want him/her to, but you’ll be able to love someone else more. Feelings don’t die (even if most people say they do) but they only fade or move into the back to give room for new feelings. The process takes time and hurts a lot, but you’ll live through it. ^^;

Cheers to happiness! (we’ll eventually get it ^^;)